Operation SEED

After days of being off duty, I was thrilled by the prospect of a fanny-friendly post at the offsite warehouse where seeding of this year’s medicinal herbs is underway. (Maria and I refer to the facility as a Soviet Stockroom per training in recognizing such warehouses on 007 tutorials.)

The centerpiece of the warehouse is the large red Seeder (perfect for concealing a Russian bomb), Circa MCMLXXXVIII. We arrive as Aldo controls the machinery propagating 440 nursery trays with Echinacea Palida. For seeding that is not processed by the automated seeder, the operation calls for a human seeder, AKA me.

Iris demonstrates on Artemisia Absinthium (code name ARAB) how to manually sow the cells of a nursery tray. With a tap to the envelope containing the seeds, she summons exactly 3 ARAB seeds onto the soil of the desired cell, moves the envelope to the next cell, taps and repeats.

A single Artemisia Absinthium seed is smaller than the dirt found under my pinky nail; it is also the same shade, i.e. brown. On my first attempt at summoning three ARAB seeds with a tap, I offloaded an unknown number of seeds (not three) into an unknown number of cells (not one); searching for lost suspects was also disappointing on account of their camouflage coloring. Subsequent tapping attempts were no better.

But I persevered and utilized a handy gadget found on the top of the Department issued Bic pen. My method of seed deployment is as follows: sprinkle seeds into the palm of left hand; obtain Bic pen in right hand; use Bic pen top to precisely scoop desired seed count from left hand onto Bic pen top shaft (the little plastic protrusion that people chew on or use to scratch an itch in the inner ear canal (hopefully not both)); transfer seeds via Bic pen top shaft into appropriate nursery tray cell.

After inseminating 160 cells of 34 trays with Achorium Intybus (ACIN), Verbascum Densiflorium (VEDE), and various other seeds - I became a certified seeder. I was ready for the next mission:

Successfully manage Soviet Stockroom’s Turkish Toilet with one leg and two crutches.
(I pity the next visiting toilet victim.)